Ironically someone very grouchy informed me this week there is to be a ǵive a gift to a grouch day type thing.' I laughed at this. Looked it up and found not only is there a National Grouch day (October 15th if you are wondering) but today is actually legitimately Do a Grouch a Favor Day.
Problem is most of us tend to have a case of the 'I'm grouchy simply because it's another effing Monday.' Do this mean we should take ourselves out for something to cheer us up? Do ourselves a favor by giving our grouchy self something to feel good about?
I say...YES YES YES! Let's do our grouchy selves a favor or if you are not feeling grouchy then find someone who is. I promise if you head out you will come across a grouch sooner or later. I would do my best not to offend them as being grouchy is a personal choice. However doing something as simple as giving a simple compliment can end up being a favor to make their day.
As for myself I will do my best to cheer up the grouch I love. For myself I will do a favor to my grouchy moments by enjoying a healthy heap of ice cream tonight. Maybe with a glass of white wine.
So have a happy February 16th and do a grouch a favor today!
Years ago I read when one sees a shooting star it means someone has died. I imparted this wisdom under a night filled with stars. My boyfriend and I were laying out on a summer's eve, under a clear night sky. "Look a shooting star!" Later he told me he thought this would be a romantic moment. The two of us under a starry sky like something from a romantic movie. I think this was the part where I was supposed to lean in and we share a romantic-movie style kiss.
Instead I looked straight at him and proclaimed, 'that means someone died.' Later I would explain this may partly have been due to being under painkillers. The other part being my own belief behind the meaning. Logically our sky would be filled with shooting stars if it meant one for every person who died. No one ever clarified precisely what the death part meant.
I don't view a shooting star as an omen of bad luck. One which should make us afraid of death. In a way I find it a beautiful thought. Almost like a sign the person has moved on from this life. They disappear in a blaze of glory before their soul is sent to one of two places.
I lack a great deal in expressing the romance beauty in life. Love is love. Starry-eyes, kisses under a night sky, and all those Hollywood ideals pale in comparison to true love. Love like spending a night holding the hand of the woman you love as she lays in the ICU. Being there for her through the good days where tremors are few and a chronic illness is easily hidden. Then giving support on the bad days. The ones which are filled with pain, loneliness, and a thought of how much more one can actually take before giving up. To me, this is love.
Every day which passes I feel like I am growing a bit more at understanding this chronically ill life. I am trying my best to understand more to this life. My attempts at growing in the understanding of starry-eyed movie romance woman are not perfect. The long-time boyfriend pronounced the change 'unnerving and a bit weird' at first. I'm not perfect in anything especially not deciphering shooting stars. No matter how many times I see one I will always instantly think 'someone died.' Hardly the thought which prompts delicate kisses.
Instead of declaring love on a shooting star I have started to say it every day. This sent my boyfriend into a panic. He used to feel as though I was saying it because I was going to die. I'm not dying (I hope not anyway). I just don't want to ever face a life where I wish I had said I love you and didn't. No one knows what life holds but we can control what we say about it.
Since being released from the hospital I had one of the most interesting experiences of 2015. My father works in a position where many people know who he is. Thereby, those people generally know who his family is. Especially when one family member gets sick. I received cards from many people who I knew, sometimes just vaguely. Then came the card.
Like almost all the others it was Hallmark made or some top card brand. The envelope was colored although looking back, I don't remember what color and it is relevant to this tale. The same goes with the outside and message inside. Both were lovely but I can't recall either and besides, it is the thought which counts.
The thought which came from...um...who??! I read the name. Blank and Blank Last Name. I hit a blank. Sometimes I have a vague idea only of who a card is from. This time I had no idea. Nada. It's a strange sensation knowing someone cared enough to send a card but you have absolutely no clue who they were. Furthermore, it's nigh impossible to try to decipher it from handwriting.
My father is a master of remembering names although there are still times where a name eludes him. He tries very hard not to have those moments as it is highly awkward to hold a conversation like that. Although there have been several Christmases where my mom opens a card and has to ask him just who the person is. His descriptions alone generally jog the mind.
"Whose the card from?" My dad asks more of routine then curiosity. "I have no idea. Who are these people?" What followed was a description of where I might have seen them (doubtful). Brief overall of the way they looked (total blank). And a round about of 'the man used to go barefoot skiing' (because that is helpful?).
After five minutes of 'helpful' hints I still had a blank. No idea. Obviously they knew who I was, knew my father, and knew me? After thinking about this conundrum several days I have figured out the answer! I have no idea who you are or if we have actually spoken but I do want to thank you! Thank you for the card and thoughtfulness. I appreciate them both! So there. Now whoever you are, if you read this and sent me a get well card then met me and I didn't tell you thank you....well here's a thank you again. And maybe next time you could include a nice photo or a description more helpful than 'excellent at barefoot skiing' (although that is pretty sweet).
