Proudly Making it Through the Grocery Store. A Chronically ill Victory.

Yesterday I proudly made it to not one but to two grocery stores. People may say, 'so what? I go to the grocery store all the time.' For me, it's not quite the same. My chronic illness means I am not allowed to drive. The last time I drove was because a friend of mine did not realize there really is a very big reason why I am not allowed to drive. After one hour behind the wheel she told me 'that was the scariest hour of my life!' Needless to say my pleas for getting behind the wheel remain unanswered. So when I want to go anywhere I need someone to drive me. This means I also do not have much say which really sucks because you end up going wherever the person wants to go. Thankfully my brother is not into sneaking other errands into the one he wants to go on. He is like me, get in, get out, go home and return to life.

So what is a trip to the grocery store for a chronically ill gal like me? Well a key part happens to be the cane. After about ten minutes I had to give up the cane and commandeer the shopping cart. Then I look like I am trying to weld myself to the cart's handles. I usually end up hanging half over the top of the cart and letting my legs do the work. Then comes the 'o crap I really want to get that' tricky part of the shopping. I hate asking for help so I hold on to my cart for dear life and reach out with one hand in the hope of grabbing the right thing. For the most part it works or someone stares long enough to take pity and hand me what I want. 

My manly man brother carrying me into an Egyptian pyramid.

Now I do like to look at the prices which works just fine in your regular old grocery store but when it comes to ALDI, it all goes out the window. Spending a lot of time in Germany means I have a healthy respect for ALDI but being chronically ill means the respect ends up going a little into the realm of frustration. Have you ever tried to look at prices way up high without letting the blood fall completely to your feet and keeling over? That is where my brother comes in. The man is ridiculously tall compared to my petite frame. When it comes to looking and pulling off shelves he is amazing and when it comes to deciding what to buy, I am amazing. He looks. I grab and keep rolling right along. Old ladies move aside because I am on fire! Alright not literally but once I get going I cannot stop. Stopping increases the likelihood of fainting exponentially so I let him do the produce scrutiny and I pass by things. Then return to what I like. Grab it (sort of) and keep going. I like to think I am perfecting this skill. If there were a chronically ill shopping Olympics then I am working my way towards gold medals with every trip.

So there I was speeding, for me, down the aisles when I came to a realization.....there were a LOT of people in line. You can't speed through the ALDI line. It just will not happen. So I went back and forth with half of me now leaning over into the cart and the other half still moving. My brother stopped by to ask what I still needed, 'meat balls.' I'm not a big meat eater but those Fit & Active meatballs are gluten-free and damn tasty! So he went left and I spotted a line opening. I had a window of opportunity and by ALDI I was going to use it! To the stares of the people around me I reached into the cart for one item at a time. I was the hated crazy store slow person who holds up the line and what was worse, I did not have the funds on me. The cash register guy was staring at me, 'um...I have a lot of health problems (obvious) and I go kin d of slow but the guy with the funds is coming. Really! He is on his way.' He looked doubtful, I felt doubtful, where the hell was my brother? 

Meanwhile my brother was worriedly looking around for his chronically ill sister. No one had started screaming to call 911 so he knew I must still be in one piece. The both of us were panicking and the lady behind me asked if she should just wait a while. Now I was really holding up the line and only half of my cart was on the conveyor belt. All the standing was starting the heart rate going, the blood was dropping.....'I turn around and you're in line?!' He was there in an instant. 'I need to sit down!' I had doubts about sitting on the ALDI floor, it looked clean but I would most likely get squished by an old lady on her own speedy grocery store trip. 'Please do not break.' I whispered to the counter. My cane and I struggled onto the counter to the smile of the old woman next to me. 'I...really needed to sit down.' Why I was explaining this to a lady I had never met went beyond me.

'You don't have any boxes?' Anyone who goes to ALDI knows if you forget your reusable, ultra-green shopping baskets then you better start hunting down the boxes. You have to put your food in something or you are going to be making a lot of trips from the car into the house and back. 'Nope. Just one.' My brother is a manly man. He was fine with one box and fifty trips from the car and back. I shrugged and pushed off the counter before snagging some trail mix, my reward for not keeling over during this grocery trip.