Chronically ill and Yet to Experience Black Friday

I have always wanted to experience Black Friday. Not because I hold a particular desire for any special items. For once I just want to be one of those 'slightly insane' people who waits outside a store for hours and then runs around frantically trying to outwit everyone for my 'goal.'

Most people would be amazed at my lack of experience. To understand you should know a little something about my family. They are not the type of people who see the point in braving the crazed crowds just for a bargain. Instead they prefer to relax. When we still owned a lake house (now we live on a lake) the whole family would spend Thanksgiving Day there. In the middle of nowhere. Just about as far from the crazy shopping scene as you could possibly get.

I apologize. I am not being entirely truthful about our shopping on Black Friday. We did go shopping for something: a Christmas tree. Yes. My parents are the type who insist on going to an actual tree farm to hunt through a forest of trees for the perfect one. After freezing for at least an hour they then come to an agreement which leads to someone having to saw down the blasted thing. I always volunteer. No one has ever let me anywhere near the base of a tree with a saw. And this was before I became chronically ill. Now I just refuse to go. No one ever decides on my choice of tree. So in the interest of myself I stay home in the warmth.

At least I can always enjoy the breakfast before hand. It's probably the only time all year my mother makes bacon and I do love bacon! I love it even more than the idea of experiencing Black Friday. Although that does not change my desire to go. I still plan on it. One day I will. As I say, once I have experienced it I can die happy. People roll their eyes at that. I guess I have an odd agenda on certain things.

Once I get healthy plan on seeing me freezing in a line somewhere on Black Friday. I doubt I will have a particular item in mind but the experience is the most important part. What good is life without truly experiencing it? And if Black Friday is the experience I am craving then bloody hell, I will be out there!

10 Things This Chronically ill Girl is Thankful For This Thanksgiving

1. First and foremost is having God in my life. No matter how painful a day may be He is always at my side. Without God I would have given up all the hope I hold a long time ago. Thank you always.

Stepping off into the sunset this summer

2. Family. They have never given up on me. Even when taking care of me meant literally holding me up. I am especially thankful to my little sister who always took time to take me to my classes and checked up on me without a single complaint. Also, to my older brother. He has never treated me any different. His zest for my life and knowledge keeps me hungry to learn more about this world. Last but never least is my long-time boyfriend. He held me in the ICU, put up marvelously with my sailing enthusiasms, and loves me no matter how horrible I may look.

Whether it be margaritas or hospital stays, they are always there for me

3. Friends. Most of them live halfway across the country. Despite the distance they are always ready to be there when I need them. Even when it means getting texts about a bad day at 2 in the morning.

4. My hands. God has always blessed me with creative hands. I do not need to be able to run when I can reach hope through their work.

Cole in his favorite Winter 'Apparel'

5. My dog Cole. Yes. He drives me insane occasionally with his habits but I cannot imagine a day without his presence.

6. This world's never-ending beauty. When I see beautiful photos, like those of +Margaret Tompkins and +Wasim Muklashy , I am forever reminded of how lucky I am to be here. Sometimes just seeing pictures of fall's glorious colors is enough to raise my spirits on the worst of days.

Literally carrying me inside the pyramid entryway

7. Travel. I am so lucky to have grown up in a family which loves to travel. My parents have taken me more places then most experience in a life time. No matter my physical condition they were there to take me by wheelchair. When wheelchair was impossible my brother would carry me. Even if it meant having to carry me through sand so I could experience one of the oldest pyramids in Egypt.

8. Being able to write and loving to do it. My teachers always complimented me on my writing skills. I never gave any of it a second thought. Now I am so glad I know how to write and try to always give it my all. Perhaps it is not the best but I still love doing it.

My latest manga-inspired painting

9. Oddly enough, anime. I credit anime to my attempted skills in watercolor. Without the style of anime & manga I would never have recognized my passion for painting. I also have to be thankful for those who love anime as well. Thanks to it I have met a lot of amazing people, like +Grym Thor, who enjoys Gintama more than anyone I have ever met.

10. Google+. Thanks to google+ I have gotten to meet a whole new world of interesting people. From those passionate about biology to those who love traveling as much as me I have a lot to be thankful for. Of course my thanks also includes all of my readers. Your thoughts & well wishes go a long way to giving me hope for healthier days! (O gosh. I'm sorry about the rhyme there.)

Take Life's Hint. It's Time to Become Ambidextrous

Today I had another spine-ilicious experience which did not solve the 'lack of sensation on the right side of the body (most importantly my right hand).' So I said to myself (abbreviated it for my mother) hey ho! It's time to move beyond this new hobby stuff and become ambidextrous!

Truthfully my plan extends beyond becoming ambidextrous. Once I realized I was already starting to take over right hand tasks with my left, I figured o what the heck...why not just learn to do everything the left-handed way? I'm already using my left hand for steadying my cane instead of the right and all my gestures are now left-sided. So you see, I am getting there without even having to work at it. Talk about lucky! I don't even have to think about learning how to do things left-handed. My body is already way ahead of me. 

As for the shaking...well it reappeared today for several hours and wrecked several nice sheets of my origami paper. It's always an odd experience combining the numbness with shaking. Although it does leave me with a legitimate (I  believe so) reason to make some diabetic frosting and eat it with the almonds I peeled at 1 am last night. If you are wondering about why I was peeling almonds at 1 a.m, it is a very important story. Which actually translates to: I was feeling a lot of pain, couldn't sleep, wanted some almonds but did NOT want plain almonds. Hence why I spent over an hour doing all the work before eating 2 almonds and going to bed. Rather anticlimatic but it has been a very long day. Better hope for tomorrow as always!

Hey Ho! Chronic illness Causing You to Lose a Hobby? It's a Sign to Get a New One!

I have noticed people get very very attached to their specific  hobbies. Some people can not imagine being unable to do them. They like to put in the 'I would simply die if I could not...' To all of you: It's unlikely you will die from losing your hobby. Besides, in accordance with the Surname Positive Thinking, this is actually a sign for you to expand your creativity. 

When my hands shook to much to continue with my hobbies I had a moment of 'I cannot live without doing what I love.' Then, Hey Ho! I said. This must be God's way of saying it's about time I expand my creative horizons and learn something new. Instead of being sad and crying over the loss I am going to be happy about being able to put the left side of my brain to a new use! Time to clean out the insanity known as my box of craft supplies and get on with it!


*Also, the amount of money I have in supplies for my hobby is staggering so giving it up was mind-boggling. When you cannot work there ain't no time to be buying stuff for a new hobby!


Cleaning out the box of craft supplies was an...interesting experience. My healthy self must have once had a desire to do embroidery. By embroidery I mean, went to a thrift store and bought decades old embroidery kits at fifty cents a pop. I would say a few are definitely older than myself. Most people would be discouraged but I decided 'hey ho! I can't feel my right side. Time to take up a hobby with a high potential of causing myself accidental pain I will not be able to feel.'

After several weeks of this I am slowly realizing embroidery will not be a lifelong hobby for this chronically ill gal. Although I am glad I got to test it out. Now I can finally do something with all those embroidery kits* without feeling guilty. 

*I am definitely not going to be using them completely for embroidery. There is some good stuff in those kits which is worth reusing. Also, no one in my family would really care to add an embroidered tree to the wall. Their decor would just clash with the style so using the pieces is a better idea.

 To my readers I really hope you will not give up on life if you can no longer do your hobby. Sometimes life is just telling you to try it out in a different direction. Is it fair? Nope but neither is letting yourself fall into self-pity. Your mind and body deserve more. So clean out your 'junk' and find something new to try.

7 Things Learned This Chronically ill Week

1. The 25th of November is the International Day for the elimination of violence against women. Learn more from Google's special link: http://www.unwomen.org/en/news/in-focus/end-violence-against-women and stand up for what is right. If you cannot do it for yourself then do it for those of us who have faced violence, in one form or another. It's an experience you never ever forget. No one should have to deal with the repercussions. So let's eliminate violence against women for good. With worldwide support anything is possible.

2. Quotes from others can inspire you but at the end of the day, they are simply another person's words. Your own actions are what actually matters.

I know it is 2013 but the thought is the same no matter the year.

3. One of my favorite of all musing tales: "Once a boy saw a dream. Twirling, twirling, flying, flying. So happy in his freedom. The boy believed himself to be a butterfly. But when he opened his eyes, he was no butterfly, only a mere human. Then he thought to himself: did I just dream I was a butterfly or is this a dream as well? Maybe I am but a dream that is dreamed by the butterfly." ~Haruka

4. Whenever a song gets stuck in my head I have a hard time not singing the words out loud. Evidently this gets ten times more annoying when I sing only lyrics in Japanese. Ah but Kalafina's 'Kagayaku Sora no Shijima Ni Wa' is just to enticing not to end up singing!


5. I love making origami. I also love making cards with ten-second poetry, touching (or humorous) medical sayings, and just find the humor in doing so. My family usually puts up well with my odd ideas but balked at using my latest origami love, angelfish, in a Christmas card. Evidently 'We Fish You a Merry Christmas' is not an acceptable way to share the holiday joy, even if you do happen to love the sport.

6. I am a positive person! No matter what the new medical personnel may assume. Look. I have a highly realistic view of new treatments. Not feeling the right side of my body is a debatable improvement over the shaking, not to mention the new improved tingling in all of my appendages does not inspire eh...instant confidence?!

7. I don't know where to visit this week without repeating a place I have gone. I miss the beauty of Athens, the shores of the Dead Sea, staying blocks from the Colosseum, and eating tapas in places only the locals visit in Granada.

Hey ho! At Least My Chronic illness Makes the Elderly Feel Like Spring Chickens!

Some days you need to switch the Surname Positive Thinking method to looking at your relationship with others. Like Hey ho! My chronic illness makes the elderly feel like spring chickens! Now if you think I am just making this up, let me assure you, I discovered this through a very unique 'field trip' of sorts with our church's senior citizen group.

Me using my cane as a photo prop.

Before you start wondering why on earth a twenty-something would be on a senior citizen trip, allow me to explain. There were three reasons:
      #1. They were taking a tour of the local Hindu temple. I always wanted to take a tour of the Hindu temple but would have felt awkward doing it alone. Hence, accompanying them.
      #2. I was raised around people much older than me so I feel totally comfortable spending the day with people in their 70s and 80s.
      #3. Senior citizens make lunch a priority. As a chronically ill person who is a walking pharmacy, lunch is a priority of my own. 

Our senior group ranges from 'I'm more active at 80 then you were in your twenties' to walkers to wheelchair friendly and canes are a common sight. Most of the members have known me since I was in the single digits. They have watched me grow up and my health progressively go down. I am always pleased about this as it definitely saves me from long explanations over my health.* Part of the reason the explanations are unnecessary is because they know my father who keeps them updated. I always say my father is like an iphone. He has an app for anything and everything concerning people. Need real estate help? He knows someone. Looking for a job in a medical lab? He knows someone. Etc. Etc.

*Most of them like to inform me they keep praying for me. Some people say, 'I pray for you' and others then point out 'well I pray for you every night!' I always thank them for their prayers. The more support I receive the easier each bad health day is.

As luck would have it, the local Hindu temple has a fine array of stairs to get inside. I loathe stairs. At home I crawl just to get up them. Crawling in public is not an option so I sighed (inwardly) and began the long long trek up alternating between clutching the railing and cane. This is where the 'spring chicken' aspect comes in. Even the people with canes were offering their help to get me safely up the stairs! Not only were they ascending with ease, they had energy with strength to spare! Half of them were most likely capable of carrying me up there. 

I think it did not cross my mind until later that perhaps my chronic illness was a bit of a morale booster for others.You could see it made people feel good to be able to help me out. Especially when most people are used to people my age being the ones always asking to help them out. Almost like a role reversal where I was the 'frail elderly lady' and they got to be the 'strong lively counterpart.'

Now I can look back and laugh. How strange to think my chronic illness makes people of all ages appreciate their own health. I know I definitely appreciate it. I also appreciate the kindness of people who know what it is like to need help getting up the stairs. I'm glad I could make you feel like 'spring chickens' again. If I make it to the 80s I hope I can follow in your footsteps. Until then, keep on rooting for this chronically ill gal.

If you would like to read more about 'My Cane. My Fabulous Medical Accessory.' This LINK will lead you to my squidoo writing.

7 ThingsThis Chronically ill Week Has Taught Me!

1) Never ever assume the answers people give are always going to be the right ones. No matter how much schooling you may have, there is always a definite possibility you are mistaken.

2) 'I'm chronically ill' is an excuse for wearing a sundress when it's forty out and raining. It's just not a very good one...

3) Wine tastings should be an annual must. Going a year since one is a tragedy and definitely not to be repeated. 

Cherry Blossom Festival at Night, Japan. Every trip starts with a dream...

 4) Just mentally planning a dream trip to somewhere will definitely raise the spirits and bring new life into your day.

5) "There are many unusual things in this world. Everyday events occur that cannot be explained. Bizarre phenomena that often go unnoticed because people close their eyes to what they don’t understand. But the truth of the matter is, there are many unusual things in this world. And people…. People are the most mysterious of them all." ~ Yuuko Ichihara 

6) Cry about the unfairness of the world and let-downs of the past. Then dry those tears and move on. The future is filled with living not longing over past regrets. 

"Alone Time"

7) +Wasim Muklashy title post which said, "Yay!! My Stuff on Stuff For Your Stuff!!" made me laugh really hard. I have no idea why but it did. I do, however, know he is one amazingly talented photographer! In case you missed the post, here is the LINK to his work and the perfect place to finally get something unique this year. Ipad cases, coffee cups, you name it. As for me, my favorite has got to be this beautiful print: