I've never been much of a big romantic. I don't want bouquets of flowers, gifts of jewelry, and romantic movies? You won't spot me at one. Being chronically ill has not changed that. Although I have amended the flower issue. If I'm in the hospital then a bouquet of flowers is acceptable otherwise go with a potted plant or go home.
The little things were always there. I just never appreciated them before. According to the long time boyfriend 'I've become much nicer' since getting sick. I wasn't a demanding girlfriend just one who was more absorbed in the future than in the now.
Being sick has taught me there is nothing more important then finding the joy in the now. The future? It will take care of itself. We can plan and plan but none of us know if we won't have a tomorrow. So why not appreciate what we have right now?
I appreciate the little things of the now. Like the way I open his freezer and find my favorite ice cream & gluten-free mac n cheese (none of which he eats himself). Or how he sweeps me off my feet when I have trouble getting up the stairs. The way he shrugs off my apologies for not feeling well enough to go anywhere. How he treats me the same regardless of whether I can walk or not. Most of all my chronic illness has taught me how it's the little things we do that add up to the greatest of loves.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Messy Space Recalls Chronically ill Creativities
When my body starts to lose the ability to do a certain hobby I say it's God's way of telling me to get a new one. This makes for a better outlook than crying over what cannot be changed. I look at my life and see there is a definite upgrade in creativity since the healthy days of before. Is it enough to make me be eternally glad of what happened? Definitely not! I would still love to be doing my previous plans but I survive, adjust my priorities, and go on with a smile.
I have decided I need to look at what I have gained since much of it happens to be all over the room. I'm talking about bouquets of Kawasaki roses, traditional tulips, daisies, variations on buttonhole flowers, etc. Also, a couple hundred origami cranes hang on strands over the closet doorway. I started because my hands shook to much to make jewelry and now...my hands just need to be doing something. Almost to reassure me they are still working better than the rest of me.
Then there is the 'I bought this embroidery ornament kit years ago at a thrift store' attempt. Not attempt. I did (after hours upon hours) manage to finish one embroidered little girl ornament. Even embroidered my niece's name on the skirt. Of course I also had to go out on a creative limb which meant she did not exactly resemble the picture. Also, if you keep sewing, unsewing, resewing, you will eventually wear out the fabric of the face and spend long hours attempting to fix it properly. By the way, if you embroider..I now have mastered the Satin Stitch, Outline Stitch, Whip Stitch (one form), and French Knot.
I would love to say I am now a gourmet cook but that would be a ridiculous lie. I have not gained any talent in that area except to have memorized my favorite gluten-free brownie recipe and discovered diabetic frosting. My greatest kitchen accomplishment is not getting hot glue on the counters.
Sewing. I was always able to do the basic sewing needs but decided what the hell, why not learn something new? Now I sew every week with a woman who is incredible at what she does. I've learned more once a week over several months than in a semester of sewing every day. I just wish she had been there when i first made a quilt. Learning online is no substitute for having an actual guide.
My writing has improved by way of sites like Squidoo, Blogger, and Wizzley. I still suck at certain aspects but get along comfortably. Mostly it's merely cathartic. The same with painting. If I hadn't gotten sick I wouldn't be painting random manga characters. I would still be attempting landscapes *shudder.* Those paintings found their way into origami vases.
Now I find myself with something new. This time I've taken my passion for using wire in my projects (no more trees) and combined it with something I do love, wine. More specifically wine glasses. I call it 'off the vine' creations. Perhaps they will take off somehow. Perhaps not. Right now I'm just living for the pure enjoyment of it.
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| Available on Etsy.com |
I have decided I need to look at what I have gained since much of it happens to be all over the room. I'm talking about bouquets of Kawasaki roses, traditional tulips, daisies, variations on buttonhole flowers, etc. Also, a couple hundred origami cranes hang on strands over the closet doorway. I started because my hands shook to much to make jewelry and now...my hands just need to be doing something. Almost to reassure me they are still working better than the rest of me.
Then there is the 'I bought this embroidery ornament kit years ago at a thrift store' attempt. Not attempt. I did (after hours upon hours) manage to finish one embroidered little girl ornament. Even embroidered my niece's name on the skirt. Of course I also had to go out on a creative limb which meant she did not exactly resemble the picture. Also, if you keep sewing, unsewing, resewing, you will eventually wear out the fabric of the face and spend long hours attempting to fix it properly. By the way, if you embroider..I now have mastered the Satin Stitch, Outline Stitch, Whip Stitch (one form), and French Knot.
I would love to say I am now a gourmet cook but that would be a ridiculous lie. I have not gained any talent in that area except to have memorized my favorite gluten-free brownie recipe and discovered diabetic frosting. My greatest kitchen accomplishment is not getting hot glue on the counters.
Sewing. I was always able to do the basic sewing needs but decided what the hell, why not learn something new? Now I sew every week with a woman who is incredible at what she does. I've learned more once a week over several months than in a semester of sewing every day. I just wish she had been there when i first made a quilt. Learning online is no substitute for having an actual guide.
My writing has improved by way of sites like Squidoo, Blogger, and Wizzley. I still suck at certain aspects but get along comfortably. Mostly it's merely cathartic. The same with painting. If I hadn't gotten sick I wouldn't be painting random manga characters. I would still be attempting landscapes *shudder.* Those paintings found their way into origami vases.
Now I find myself with something new. This time I've taken my passion for using wire in my projects (no more trees) and combined it with something I do love, wine. More specifically wine glasses. I call it 'off the vine' creations. Perhaps they will take off somehow. Perhaps not. Right now I'm just living for the pure enjoyment of it.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Insanely Huge Grocery Stores Lead to Important Reminders!
Yesterday I experienced one of the latest (and evidently greatest) of food store advances. I have shopped the all-natural, all to expensive, and all to ordinary but nothing..nothing like this. The store was huge. Wall upon wall upon wall upon shelf upon shelf upon shelf of food. A whole aisle filled with nothing but different yogurt types.
Yet they lacked the usual wheelchair or electronic chair for us chronically ill slow lane participants. I had to resign myself to sitting on a bench with the cart in front of me and my father pushing it like a stroller. Whoever designed such things was clearly an idiot.
My father had to ask an employee who had to consult a guide before steering us to the right aisle. As we started going in that far away direction I looked around me and felt a bit sad. When my father brought his friend from Nepal here, the man just stared in awe at the expanse of food. My father told me when he visited Nepal there was nothing near what we refer to as a 'grocery store' in his friend's area.
I am very lucky to be able to go to a store and buy whatever I need without worrying if it will be gone tomorrow. Yes, I live with a miserable chronic illness but I have been given great gifts. Looking at all the food made me a bit ashamed of all I take for granted. I have been so lucky in life.
A wonderful family who takes care of me, good friends, and a crazy optomistic view on life. Along with having a damn good doctor & cardiologist, there is to much to be thankful for. On days where I feel down (like I did today) I need those reminders. I need to remember how lucky I still am.
Yet they lacked the usual wheelchair or electronic chair for us chronically ill slow lane participants. I had to resign myself to sitting on a bench with the cart in front of me and my father pushing it like a stroller. Whoever designed such things was clearly an idiot.
My father had to ask an employee who had to consult a guide before steering us to the right aisle. As we started going in that far away direction I looked around me and felt a bit sad. When my father brought his friend from Nepal here, the man just stared in awe at the expanse of food. My father told me when he visited Nepal there was nothing near what we refer to as a 'grocery store' in his friend's area.
I am very lucky to be able to go to a store and buy whatever I need without worrying if it will be gone tomorrow. Yes, I live with a miserable chronic illness but I have been given great gifts. Looking at all the food made me a bit ashamed of all I take for granted. I have been so lucky in life.
A wonderful family who takes care of me, good friends, and a crazy optomistic view on life. Along with having a damn good doctor & cardiologist, there is to much to be thankful for. On days where I feel down (like I did today) I need those reminders. I need to remember how lucky I still am.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Give This Chronically ill Gal the Best Places to go in Beijing!
Beijing is our first stop and of course, we are doing the most popular sites to see. With an unusual twist we have a FREE DAY all on our own to explore the city. I have a travel must or two but love to hear from my readers.
I'm a laidback chronically ill gal so you can tell me where you've been, where to go, or what other knowledge you feel I should know REGARDLESS of whether you have visited Beijing or not. Sometimes the best places to go are those people wish to see.
Most of all, be honest with me about chronically ill conditions. Is it wheelchair friendly? Are the people willing to lend a hand? Our hotel is 5 Star so I'm not worried about getting help there. However, I'm not at all sure on transportation exactly. Remember I've traveled a great deal in Europe but not Asia so this is all going to be new to me.
Let me know. I've already begun planning my gluten-free diet and working out the necessary there. My suitcase weight..well...we shall see how that goes. Also, I'm pretty sure on what I hope to buy but if there is something you should not leave Beijing without...share it with me please.
For anyone who would like to know a bit about the travel experience of China's markets here is the link to a work of mine known as http://wizzley.com/a-brother-s-photo-journey-through-the-markets-of-china/. I loved his pictures so much I just had to share them.
~L
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| The night market is on my must list |
Most of all, be honest with me about chronically ill conditions. Is it wheelchair friendly? Are the people willing to lend a hand? Our hotel is 5 Star so I'm not worried about getting help there. However, I'm not at all sure on transportation exactly. Remember I've traveled a great deal in Europe but not Asia so this is all going to be new to me.
Let me know. I've already begun planning my gluten-free diet and working out the necessary there. My suitcase weight..well...we shall see how that goes. Also, I'm pretty sure on what I hope to buy but if there is something you should not leave Beijing without...share it with me please.
For anyone who would like to know a bit about the travel experience of China's markets here is the link to a work of mine known as http://wizzley.com/a-brother-s-photo-journey-through-the-markets-of-china/. I loved his pictures so much I just had to share them.
~L
Monday, February 24, 2014
A Penny War Leaves a Chronically ill Gal Feeling Like a Millionaire!
It's amazing how a simple penny war can leave you feeling like a millionaire. Saturday was a huge morale boost to someone with little money in the bank. The whole tale started with a 1st birthday party which led to my little cousins entering the sty I call a room. I don't even sleep there often so them entering was a bit unusual in itself.
of course my lovely godchild spotted two pennies on the messy floor. My other cousin was thrilled. "My class is having a penny war to raise money for Africa." A very vague statement but I assured her it was fine in fact I had a basket overflowing with pennies.
Her face lit up at that. I was thrilled to get rid of a pile of useless change as I loathe carrying the stuff. When I said it was all hers she was glowing and talking a mile a minute. "I've looked through them but please just help me find the other currencies" as mixed in were euro cents and Canadian pennies.
Being able to give when you have barely anything to your name felt amazing. I am chronically so doing anything to help others cheers me up. I used to volunteer back in the healthy days. Now I was giving out change. O how life changes us.
She left the house with my painting, pennies galore, and a smile worth millions. I felt better for a moment there knowing what little I had would help her and whatever vague plans for Africa. I wish I could do more. I would pay my parent's, mortgage, buy them their first completely new car, and take those chronically ill on vacation. We need travel escape too!
of course my lovely godchild spotted two pennies on the messy floor. My other cousin was thrilled. "My class is having a penny war to raise money for Africa." A very vague statement but I assured her it was fine in fact I had a basket overflowing with pennies.
Her face lit up at that. I was thrilled to get rid of a pile of useless change as I loathe carrying the stuff. When I said it was all hers she was glowing and talking a mile a minute. "I've looked through them but please just help me find the other currencies" as mixed in were euro cents and Canadian pennies.
Being able to give when you have barely anything to your name felt amazing. I am chronically so doing anything to help others cheers me up. I used to volunteer back in the healthy days. Now I was giving out change. O how life changes us.
She left the house with my painting, pennies galore, and a smile worth millions. I felt better for a moment there knowing what little I had would help her and whatever vague plans for Africa. I wish I could do more. I would pay my parent's, mortgage, buy them their first completely new car, and take those chronically ill on vacation. We need travel escape too!
Sunday, February 23, 2014
7 Things Learned This Chronically ill Week
1. I'm terrible at the crying feeling pity part of having a chronic illness. Ten minutes later I have to laugh because crying is such a waste of the life we've been given. Tears are to much work. Smiling is far easier on me.
2. I went to the portrait studio for those classic first birthday
photos of my niece. Lord help us all if those children are the future. If I have a
child they will not be running all over touching people's stuff and
making others want to strangle them for misbehavior. Also, every husband
should have to suffer through these. From the expressions on the poor
mother's faces I feel bad for the lecture those men will be getting for
skipping out.
3. I find it hilarious my sister changed the label of Hot Sex to Hot Birthday Fun. Gotta keep it G-rated for the baby's first birthday.
4. I love to paint. I hate painting requests. This painting pissed me off to no end because I couldn't get the eyes right. Meh. Requests are done. I'm going back to painting whatever.
5. People think origami makes you 'so talented.' Not really. I just got bored and started making Kawasaki roses to pass the time.
6. Watching Sex in the Ancient World (Egyptian Erotica) made me feel like an immature teenage boy. You're not supposed to laugh at such things even if the experts get excited to use the words 'engorged phallus.' Also, Playboy has nothing on some of those erotic scrolls.
7. Coppers is hilarious. I've learned more British insults from one episode then in my whole life. That being said, it's amazing how patient they are. American cops would just arrest the person for such behavior or whip out the pepper spray.
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| My niece was the best behaved kid there! Kudos to her! |
3. I find it hilarious my sister changed the label of Hot Sex to Hot Birthday Fun. Gotta keep it G-rated for the baby's first birthday.
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| Not a fan of this work. No more requests being taken. |
5. People think origami makes you 'so talented.' Not really. I just got bored and started making Kawasaki roses to pass the time.
6. Watching Sex in the Ancient World (Egyptian Erotica) made me feel like an immature teenage boy. You're not supposed to laugh at such things even if the experts get excited to use the words 'engorged phallus.' Also, Playboy has nothing on some of those erotic scrolls.
7. Coppers is hilarious. I've learned more British insults from one episode then in my whole life. That being said, it's amazing how patient they are. American cops would just arrest the person for such behavior or whip out the pepper spray.
Thank You All For Your Messages...Unfortunately I Had No Idea They Existed
Tonight I came across quite the surprise. Meaning hundreds of messages from readers to me through Google hangouts since I first began this blog. Since they showed up as a name with the words 'invite' I thought it was like a Facebook idea. Suggestions/people asking you to be 'friends' or whatnot. If I had known these were actually messages from people I would have replied to you asap.*
*For those who sent the 'hello beautiful, hi, can i skype w/u etc' messages. Sorry. I don't reply to those. I would say I'm flattered but I'm not. I watch far to much ID Discovery to ever consider a relationship over the internet. Not to mention, I remain happily with the long-time boyfriend.
First off, I want to apologize to everyone who asked a question pertaining to my blog. I wanted to reply to all of you, which you might find insane after several months of no answer. Unfortunately, all of this froze my computer repeatedly which I took as a sign to go easy on the Google chat. I must apologize in particular to +Kawang Wong. You were kind enough to recommend me and I must have looked like a prat when I didn't reply. I apologize once again.
Secondly, I want to thank all y'all who wrote you like to read what I write. There are far to many of you to thank so I will just have to do an all-around THANK YOU. I will do my best to make some truce with my computer & Google hangouts & myself so I can let you know that. And thank you to +Thomas Bianco regarding your advice on Lyme disease which is always a tricky bastard to diagnose.
Much Love (and a very early good morning)
~L
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| Good thing I made this card in advance! Love that Origami! |
First off, I want to apologize to everyone who asked a question pertaining to my blog. I wanted to reply to all of you, which you might find insane after several months of no answer. Unfortunately, all of this froze my computer repeatedly which I took as a sign to go easy on the Google chat. I must apologize in particular to +Kawang Wong. You were kind enough to recommend me and I must have looked like a prat when I didn't reply. I apologize once again.
Secondly, I want to thank all y'all who wrote you like to read what I write. There are far to many of you to thank so I will just have to do an all-around THANK YOU. I will do my best to make some truce with my computer & Google hangouts & myself so I can let you know that. And thank you to +Thomas Bianco regarding your advice on Lyme disease which is always a tricky bastard to diagnose.
Much Love (and a very early good morning)
~L
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