Finally Able to Fly. Best Feeling in the World for a Chronically ill Gal

My brother asked me what one thing I wanted to do. Just say it and he would do his best to make it happen. I told him what I wanted more than anything, any gift this year, anything else. I want to go ice skating again. The feeling of flying for me.

I used to love skating with a passion. Took lessons, had the pure white figure skates, and even had a pretty skating outfit or two. Unfortunately figure skating is no 'after school, several times a week' hobby. To do it and do it well required hours more ice time, private coaching, and more of my life than I was willing to give. So I left the ice behind. I still loved it. Just had grown realistic over life versus dreams. 

When I became sick I started to think of skating more often. I made plans to return to my lessons as soon as I 'recovered.' There was an Olympic skating ring only a few minutes drive/15 minute walk from my university apartment. I could snag a ride or walk if need be. Then I did not get better but the dreams were always there. I would ask someone anyone to take me skating once again. Everyone always told me no. For my safety, health, doctor's warnings, etc.

My brother disregarded my family's reactions. We live on a lake, a very very frozen one at the moment. Where the wind blows hardest across the water there are always ice patches with no snow made perfectly flat for skating. I'm no idiot. My legs do not work like they used to. I will not pretend they do. Instead I pointed out to everyone we could just 'take my walker.'

Yesterday my brother carried my walker down the steep steps to the lake below. He then gave me a piggy-back ride, skates included (I had to wear a back-up pair which were black not my white ones)* onto the ice. Alright. Getting to the perfect ice 'rinks' was more than a little difficult with myself, walker, and skates. However, once we did...it was worth every step.

*When we moved a lot of things got shoved around. We have a special attic-like place which is easily accessed but finding anything has lately been difficult. Since the selling of our 'lakehouse' all the odds & ends happen to have landed pell-mell up there.

After a few minutes of 'trying it out' we moved to the largest patch in almost the middle of the lake where there was space to finally finally be free. Even with my walker I have never felt so free before. You do not need to have legs which work amazing. Just enough to push off and hold onto your walker for dear life. 

I must have looked quite strange to all the neighbors. Out there in my leggings, pea coat, grinning like mad with a runny nose and hands clenching my walker for dear life. I told him I wanted to 'skate out here forever and ever.' You do not understand what it means to be physically free until you have been a captive to your own health.

No matter how hard I try I cannot explain the feeling. Joy? Definitely. Something beyond even the happiest I can describe. No matter how hard I try to will it. Feelings will never ever beat out my health. I felt like only moments passed before I ended up sliding down holding onto my walker barely enough to keep off the ice. By the time my brother caught me I was on the verge of fainting and proceeded to do so. When I looked up to see his jacket in front of my face I knew we were done for the day.

Nothing in this world lasts forever. You cannot capture the feelings of a moment and keep them frozen like a gem to be carried around always. I will treasure those moments of 'flying' more than any gift received under the tree. More than most will get close to understanding.