Coma Girlfriend Returns

My freshmen year of college I had the nickname of 'coma girlfriend.' Looking back I was far to sleepy to understand why anyone would call me that. Even as a little girl I had a sleep problem. My own mother was worried I would not make it through the first grade without being able to have a nap. In high school I would nap during my free time in the library so I would be able to work after school. Then freshmen year of college I went into sleep overdrive.

Me imitating a fountain in the days of Coma Girlfriend

This was literally my life: Get up. Get ready. Class. Nap. Class. Nap. Nap. -Have friend call me to make sure I made it to class- Nap. Lunch. Nap. Nap. Class. Nap. Dinner. -Call boyfriend to come over. Fall asleep while waiting for him to come over. Welcome him in and ask if he would like to also take a nap.- More napping. From about nine p.m. to midnight be completely awake.

After several sleep studies, a resoundingly bad day sleep study where I fell asleep not 3 out of the 5 times nap times but all five and then started dreaming during one, and other stuff I was diagnosed with a sleep disorder (hurrah!). We began treating it and I proudly told him months later, "I can now get up and feel rested. If I want to, I have the energy to actually make waffles in the morning!" If you have never had a sleep disorder then you have no idea how happy something so simple makes you. Then again it might just be me who finds happiness in such simple things.

When I got sick I slowly started falling back into the coma girlfriend mode. First it was the crippling fatigue which has now let me with the label of someone suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I feel weary all the time as though my body has been fighting far to long. For a while I had to resort back to long long naps and then the fatigue seemed to abate a bit. I was nowhere near my energetic self but I could make it a day or two a week without a nap.

The latest treatment decision has brought back on the fatigue full force but helped with the shaky hands. I am the returning coma girlfriend. The coma girlfriend would be much cooler if it meant I had superpowers. Superpowers which did not include literally being able to fall asleep anywhere, needing a nap or else, and sleeping for hours only to wake up exhausted. 

I am trying to balance out my life around the fatigue. Every day must be measured by how important activities are. If I am doing something in the evening then I better rest in the morning. Doing something in the morning (like sewing) means not scheduling anything later in the day as I will be doing serious snoozing in the evening. Even thinking about the process is exhausting. I won't give up though.. 

The people who have it really hard are the ones who are closest to me. They get passed over for sleep. I cannot help it. The fatigue hits me and I am out. I have yet to find a way to stop it. So I will continue trying to maneuver it around my life and hope all this beauty rest will leaving me looking fabulous for years to come.

Positive Thought of the Day: "Kagayaku Sora no Shijima Ni Wa" Kalafina's music always makes me feel a bit more alive on easy the most exhausting of days.